Saturday, March 07, 2009


I've been having a lot of odd dreams lately - unfortunately most of them revolved around my ex-husband. I haven't had any for a LONG time - very few since moving, in fact. However, a mutual friend down in Florida told me that he got another divorce (he married the woman that he was cheating with while we were married - no big shocker about the divorce really....).
I think the dreams are stemming from a couple of places. First, I'm not really sure if I do, or should, feel anything about him getting divorced again. When I first found out, I really felt vindicated - in that it wasn't my fault. I think a small part of me always felt like I should have done something MORE than what I was already doing to keep my marriage going. I now know that it's impossible - if one person does not want to be in the relationship, there is nothing that can be done by the other to salvage it - it does, indeed, take two to tango. On the flip side, divorce is never easy, and although I don't know the details of who broke up with whom or how or why, I still think it's a sad situation. Again, can't say I'm surprised by any of this, but still. It's ironic that he did the EXACT same thing with her as me: lived together before getting married, got the house first, then got married, then got divorced. He was with her longer than me (in terms of being married - I think around 4 years). However, I was with him much longer - almost 12 years.
So, I'm getting ready to go to bed, and hoping my dreams will be free and clear. I'm hoping by typing this, I may have purged whatever is lurking in my subconscious that likes to come back to me in my dreams.


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