It's been awhile....

Things have been crazy busy this past year - visits to family, officially moved in together, sold my house, now we are renovating our house, and we got a new puppy. Holy crap ....just typing it all is exhausting!
We haven't had many hiccups - only one really with a friend of his who has decided she doesn't like me. She blew up over something incredibly stupid, and also dropped a bomb on me KNOWING it was something D had not told me about to cause a problem between us. At this point, he's not even really speaking to this friend (who happens to be a woman) and I can tell by the stress in his voice that he doesn't want to discuss it. I think it's a case of "I don't want him, but don't want anyone else to have him" - as they've been friends for a long time, and now she has competition. I have a friend who is a psychologist who is agreeing with me on this one -and she doesn't know any of them other than me.
We've discussed getting married - my friend R just got engaged and I'm VERY happy for her :) Just wish we could do all the fun stuff together - dress shopping, planning, ring shopping, etc. We've discussed where would do the ceremony and reception. The original idea he wanted was a destination wedding in the islands - which this "friend" would be with us - and then have everyone stay for a week to celebrate. Finally, do a reception here in town for anyone who couldn't attend. I'm not really on board with that - the main reason being I don't think my dad or best friend in Florida could afford the trip - even for the weekend. So, we've discussed other options - we both want to get married on the beach, or at least near it. I would like to get married in the spring when it's still *relatively* cool. April would be ideal to coincide with my spring break - but I don't think it's going to happen :P
On another note, I'm going to start writing a book. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time - actully since I was a kid! So, I think it's time. After we get the basement done so I can get my office back up and running, I will start making time for it. I actually have several ideas kicking around for 3 different books! Possibly a 4th....oh my! This is my over-ambitious self kicking in - one thing at a time. First - get the basement and dining room renovated - then I can start writing. We will do the remodel of the master bath in the winter since D can't really work due to the weather.
So, life in a nutshell - busy and living it to the fullest! I wish we hadn't had the issues with his friend - but it is what it is at this point. I'm still here. My opinion - she waited too long to pull this crap. If she had done this three months into our dating, I think he would have listened to her and dumped me. But, she's now accused me of so many things that he knows are absolutely not true because he KNOWS me and my personality. I mean she has pulled out ALL the stops - that I lie, I'm a drama queen, I'm insecure, I'm paranoid, I'm jealous - the list goes on. My behaviour towards her and his friendship with her is the exact opposite of all the things she has accused me of - and D knows I don't lie. I really cannot do it - I can't keep a straight face - never have been able to - I'm "the responsible one" that everyone relies on to do the right thing. So - it has backfired on her. Oh - and she basically told him she won't even come to the house if I'm here. Hmmmmm....guess what...this is MY HOME now - I live here and I'm not leaving just because she wants to come over and visit. I don't have a problem with her - so, in my opinion, she needs to get over it. Take about a drama queen! LOL Wish I would have been able to take a video of all the crap she has pulled and said - I don't think anyone would believe me otherwise!

The Big C

D and I started watching this show - "The Big C" - from Showtime. We probably won't continue as it hits too close to home for him. However, something I've learned from it after the first three episodes......life is a gift and it should be lived. I'm doing that now, more than ever before. Me and vacations don't normally happen - I'm doing 4 this year. Some are just weekend trips - two are longer - one we already did in July, and the other is to St. Maarten in February (which will actually be our one year anniversary too :). If I can fit another one in during March back to Florida for a weekend - I'm going. I'm no longer living to work, but working to live. If something doesn't get done for school - I'm not panicked - I'll get to it. Right now, spending more time with D and enjoying the time we have together is much more important. Actually - just remembered - 5 trips - I *might* be going with him over Thanksgiving to visit his family (TBD based on his family's response - he says they will be fine with me going, but I'd feel better if he asked first :).

So - live your life. Don't live for work. Go out and have fun. Enjoy each day. We laugh each and every day. He smiles and it lights me up inside. I love being with him and our dogs. I've realized what's been missing from life and now that I know - I won't be missing out anymore.

Selling the house????

So, D is out of town again :P and we've had some ups and downs - mostly ups. We've repainted the bedroom :) and today his neighbor helped put a new ceiling fan up. It's a surprise for him when he gets back. We've been looking for a while, and we both looked up and LOVED this one. It's actually the floor model b/c it has been discontinued - and it was a PAIN IN THE A** to get the Depot to sell it to me! OMW! SSSSSSOOOOOO, I finally got it and picked it up. It looks amazing! I'm missing him right now :( will probably go over and do some more work around his place tomorrow - mostly the yard and if I'm feeling ambitious enough, I might pressure wash the driveway - I've already done the deck and mailbox - we joked about it once, so I thought, "why not?" - I need to stay busy this weekend/week while he's gone.
So, I'm thinking about selling my house. I'm pretty much living at D's anyways, so it seems reasonable. I just don't know how to approach him about it. If it's a 'no', then I need to start staying here a little more often - not sure how that's going to work since I'm also teaching night school, and I would need dog care after school - so I'd probably have to get a service....sigh..... would really just rather move in with him and use the equity in my place and put it into his house - it has SO much potential! I know it's his house, but I want to make it our home.
So, before he left, I mentioned that it might be a good idea for us to discuss 'logistics' especially since school has begun and there's the issue of work clothes and shoes. I've been bumming around in shorts/t-shirts/sneakers all summer and those don't take up much room. His response was positive and said I shouldn't worry and we would work it out. The biggest issue is all the antiques his mom collected - they aren't family heirlooms, so I would like to help him get them cleaned out. I'm sure that he could sell them for a ton of money as well.
Can't wait for him to come back - I've really missed him this week! I know he's having a good time and it's a trip he's planned for a while - just want him back safe and sound :)

Random Acts Day!

So, I had the opportunity to do not one, but TWO random acts of kindness today :) I seem to get the opp for one - and always take it :) but two within a 20 min span of time is unheard of in my world!
First, outside Publix, an older gentleman in the passenger side of the car dropped his drink (looked like ice water). I heard something hit the ground, and was mid-way to the sidewalk. He was trying to reach it and obviously could not - so, I went up and picked it up, mentioned that the straw had hit the ground and would he just like me to throw it away - he said that would be good :) So, I went into the deli department and found the guy in there that knows me pretty well and asked if I could just pay for the cup to get some ice water for the guy. He said don't worry about paying and just to do it :) So, I got outside just in time to give it to him before his driver pulled away :) His smile was worth it :)
Second - as I was leaving, a man and his VERY young daughter were in front of me in line. He was leaving and just as I was checking out, I noticed a slip on the counter for $50. I thought - Oh, he forgot his receipt and got cash out - NOPE! He had a Home Depot gift card under that receipt for $50!!! Have I ever mentioned that HD is my toy shoppe???? I called him back and he thanked me profusely - looked VERY relieved to have it back! I jokingly said something about that being my toy shoppe and I'm glad I'm an honest person - he looked at me and said - "it's mine too!" - we laughed for a second and he thanked me again :)
Good feeling today! Rest of life may be going rough - but this made up for it :)
D and I are still good - typing this from his place now :)

Progress

Okay, so everything is fine - I was just being weird. He was really, really, really tired and I think that was part of the problem :(
I *think* we are making progress. We picked out some paint colors for his bedroom. The first round - not so good - green (and not my fav color - but his) - he hated it. I suggested a smoky blue - he loves it :) We've kind of looked at some ideas for re-doing his bathroom over the weekend - just shopping and looking. We have some similar tastes. It's ultimately his house, but at least he is asking my opinion and what I like/dislike - kind of nice.
I'm hoping we get to the point of moving in together. I think his house is going to have to be really, really, really cleaned out before that can happen. He still has so much of his parents stuff there in several rooms, and I think it's just hard for him to cope with on his own. We got the closet cleaned out one weekend - that was a BIG step. The next rainy weekend we will spend painting - and then he will move his parents furniture out of his bedroom and his furniture in - so it will feel more like his.
His neighbors LOVE me :) One of them has said she has never seen him like this with anyone - and as far as they know he's never dated seriously until me. We did an impromptu party one Friday night - one of his neighbors I hadn't met before asked me if I was living there already! I guess my car being there overnight (I park on the street) is kind of obvious to the neighbors... :)
I'm really enjoying the time with him and with his friends. He so loves to entertain - I enjoy it as well. It's been really, really, really hard to get work done and get caught up :P. I only have one more week of actual teaching with my AP kids, so I'm looking forward to this week ending - which means this week will probably drag as well.
I know he cares about me. I think he cares for me as much as he is able to do so right now. It's going to take some time. I think I heard a phrase somewhere that summarizes how I feel about him - I can live without him, I just don't want to. I want him in my life. I hate when I'm not with him - just hanging out. We are still "working" on that to be comfortable as I know he has to do work at home sometimes - we just treasure the time we have together so much that it makes it hard to get things done. He is still just as amazing and I love him a little more each day :)

Something...

is either different, or I'm just being paranoid...I don't know which. I hope I'm just being paranoid. D sounded different on the phone tonight - normal, but just different. I also asked if he would like to stay here tomorrow (he didn't drive back today) and he said (which I can understand) that he would really like to sleep in his own bed after a week and a half - which I can understand. But odd that he didn't suggest that maybe I just stay at his place. The paranoid part of me is thinking he's changed his mind since we've been apart for almost 2 weeks....or that being around the stress of a wedding has made him think that it's something he doesn't want to do, so it might be best to just break it off with me now. The "normal" side of me is saying not to worry - he's just still tired and stressed and it's been a tough 2 weeks for him. I'm not sure how I will handle him telling me (if that's what is going to happen) that he wants to just be friends. It literally hurts to think about that happening. I've NEVER had a relationship go so well for so long - there's always something that I find that I just can't deal with - that hasn't happened here. So, I'm scared, nervous, anxious - just about every emotion possible. Today has DRAGGED on - I'm not sure tomorrow will be much better. He said he will try to call later tonight or sometime tomorrow from the road - if he does (especially if he calls back tonight) I think I will be more reassured by everything. If not, I don't think it's going to be a good night - the ugly paranoid part of me is not going to be pretty.....

Ugh....

Spring break is almost done and I've NOT gotten everything accomplished that I needed to - YIKES!!! Tomorrow will be a busy day - as will Monday. BUT - only THREE.MORE.DAYS until he is back!!!!! So anxious to see him and really talk and see how he is doing after all this - it's just so much. I've already promised a VERY long full body (front and back) massage - he's going to need it! I don't think he'll stay awake for the whole thing though!
I got my hair cut/colored today - FINALLY - it's been 6 months - I didn't even realize it had been that long! It looks phenomenal! I didn't tell D I was getting it done - I can't wait to see his reaction and see if he really likes it. It's summer, so I had her put the blond (dark blond) back in for me - and do the all over color to get rid of the gray :P Looks a MILLION times better now!
I'm still sick - so that has slowed me down. I'm still going to try and get his yard done for him tomorrow - I may not get as much done as I had planned, but I still want to help in some way. Grading papers most of the rest of the day tomorrow. I still have Monday in 3 classes to play catch up with some stuff, so we'll see how that goes....sigh....need another week off!