Thursday, August 11, 2005

Trail time

I love walking on the trails around town. My favorite one is in Winter Springs, but there is one less than 1/8 of a mile from my house and we have an entrance from my subdivision that leads onto the trail.

I love the trails because it gives me time to think while I am walking w/Jedi. I don't use a CD player or listen to music, I just walk, enjoy the birds and various other animals that we see and think. My favorite sounds are the cicadas in the trees on the springs trail - in the early morning it's just an incredibly peaceful sound. The birds start moving around and waking up and singing - it's wonderful.

What do I think about? I think about everything. Last night C said I am very cerebral when it comes to relationships or just life in general. He's right (and I hate it when he's right), but I am. I think most women are to some extent - at least more so than men. We just analyze things more before we act on them.

My thoughts were not very coherent this morning. I also wasn't really awake. I did enjoy a wonderful sunrise, and Jedi almost chased a cat - the same freaking cat that was in my yard and it was almost a mile away from it's home - go figure - those people are idiots (and yes, I think I actually said that aloud to Jedi this AM once the cat scampered off - I know, I know, but I DO talk to my dog!!!)

So, trail time is *me* time. I take Jedi with me b/c I simply can't imagine leaving him inside on a gorgeous morning. He's great. And he LOVES to walk. He gets all excited and his eyes perk up and his eyes - literally - light up. He got spoiled before the walk today too - I woke up at 5 AM for no apparent reason and rather than get up and work, I gave him a 45 minute tummy rub and then dozed until 6:30. Yes, I spoil my dog. Or as my dad says "He's not spoiled, he's loved a lot".

So, I may be single, and I may have hated the grocery store last night, but I do have things that I enjoy doing that are just for me. And I won't give those up even if I do find someone - b/c it's me time, and that is just as important as "us" time in relationship world. I may be single, but I'm not dead and I'm not unhappy - I just had a small panic attack and now I'm fine. Of course, school (grad) begins in 11 days and I am seriously rethinking my schedule for that today. For the first time in my life, I think I may not be able to handle something and I am actually admitting it to myself while I still have time to make a change. Progress - YES!


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