Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Matchmaker aka - my mother

So, my mom calls last week and tells me that a guy I graduated with in high school is thinking about his Master's degree and asks if she can give him my phone number and email to help him out.

That really doesn't sound too bad - pretty innocent - unless you know my mom.

Then, the story begins from that oh-so-innocent statement:

Mom: D always asks about you everytime he's in my office (background: my mom works at the high school where D teaches in my home town).
Me: I thought you told me D was married?
Mom: Oh, they got divorced.... it didn't work out.
Me: Okay, I'm sorry to hear that.
Mom: Well, he told me he wanted to ask you out in high school but you were always with Lee (my ex-husband - yes, I dated him in high school, we were doomed from the start)
Me: Well, he was dating my best friend in high school. (In my mind: where the hell is this going?)
Mom: Well, he and some friends are going to Europe next summer and he thought you might like to go.
Me: I can't - no vacation time. Mom, I haven't spoken to D in like 14 years!
Mom: Well, he asks about you all the time. Do you think you can help him with his Master's program? He's thinking about moving to Orlando.
Me (with red flags going off in the brain): Well, it's an interesting town (attempting to be vague). What does he teach?
Mom: I'm not sure - I'll have him call and talk to you.
(Me in brain: of COURSE you know what he teaches, you work in the same flipping school!!)

Underlying messages in this conversation:
  1. Mom would like more grandchildren.
  2. Mom thinks if I find someone in Florida that I will not move to Georgia.
  3. Mom thinks I cannot possibly be happy living by myself without a man.
  4. Mom thinks D is "perfect" for me and can make me happy, since I am obviously so unhappy on my own.

She called again today - she wasn't able to reach him but will see him at work tomorrow and will give him my number and email address.

To be honest - I don't mind helping D if that's really what he's doing. I am assuming (man, I HATE that word) that being a man, there are no ulterior motives. Men, generally speaking, are not manipulating like woman are. Of course, my ex-husband is excluded in that statement - he is quite the manipulating bastard, as was Jim. (Note how I have no problem using full names for ex-assholes, but protect the innocent, or the presumed-to-be-innocents, in my posts ...evil grin....)

So, I'm guessing I will be talking to D at some point and, wow, pointing him to the UCF website for information. Which I also mentioned to my mom, but she said he really wanted to talk to someone who's in the Master's program at UCF. Yeah, okay mom......


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