Friday, September 23, 2005

Dependability Part II

Yep, I'm done. Previous post on dependability for those of you that are bored and have nothing else to do. Me - home (by choice) on a Friday night so I could get some work done. This week has been rough.

So, I left a pretty nasty note for C last night - about the dishes. Wow, what a shock. I should back up and explain why was not necessarily in the correct frame of mind to deal with a sinkful of dishes when I got home at 9:30 last night:
  • I got about 6 hours of sleep and got up at 5:30 on Thursday morning to study for a test that I had on Thursday morning.
  • I have no idea how much caffeine I poured into my body on Thursday - an IV would have worked well - I think I passed the legal limit - I had class last night that I needed to stay awake for.
  • My class ran over time by about 40 minutes. One of my group members, rather than paying attention to what was going on and taking notes (knowing that we have to totally redo an assignment) screwed around for about an hour of class on the web.
  • We got to class and discovered we (meaning almost the entire class) were missing part of the assignment that was due the day before and the prof doesn't allow late submissions on work. Once he found out that we had been unclear on directions, he said it had to be posted asap to receive credit.
  • Right before class, I find out that my brother, sister-in-law and their 3 kids may have to evacuate from the storm. My dad calls me back and says they are not (base commander won't let him leave) - my dad then tells me that my sister-in-law is pregnant again, and that my brother is probably going to need surgery on his knee again since he may have either torn the meniscus or the ACL a couple of days ago - so he is hobbling around with a brace right now.
  • I've been parking in my garage for over 2 years with no piece of wood to tell me where to stop and I have yet to hit anything. I moved the fucking piece of wood out of the way yesterday (C apparently thinks I'm an idiot and I don't know how to park in my own garage) and he put it back last night. He didn't put it up far enough, so the garage door hit my car coming down. I was a little tired to notice I wasn't pulled up far enough and I was still IN my freaking car when it happened.
  • Then, I come in with the following mindset: I am totally lost on something very important in the class that I had on Thursday evening. I'm frustrated and upset and confused - I called my dad and had a complete and total breakdown on the phone (crying uncontrollably - which I hate more than anything in the world) and I'm seriously beginning to question why I am in this program - which I then email my prof about as well.
  • C invites his latest fling to the house - without any apparent consideration for anything that I need to do.
  • He passes the sink at least 4 times BEFORE she arrives and doesn't do a damn thing with any of the dishes in the sink.

Now, had I not had the day (or for that matter, the week) that I had, I probably wouldn't have written the note. However, I really didn't want to start my Friday off by having a sink full of dirty dishes. I can be a real bitch sometimes. I have a feeling that at some point, dishes are going to end up in C's bedroom - I just feel it coming. Bottom line - he's not listening or even taking anything I ask into consideration. It's really pissing me off. I think he will be leaving in December.

This AM was pretty bad. He asked me about the note and he left one for me telling me that I didn't have to be so "stinky" and I told him that yes, I did. I'm sick of this. I've asked him for 2 full weeks to call a storage company to get his shit out of the garage. "I forgot" or "I didn't have time". It took me TEN MINUTES to find a storage company. TEN. MINUTES. It's takes less than 5 minutes to put dishes in the dishwasher. FIVE. MINUTES. I'm over it - which is exactly what I told him this morning. I've over it. I think tonight I'll tell him that December is it. I really don't think this is working out at all.

Why is this not working? First, I'm tired of being shit on - this goes back to being dependable. And here's what really pisses me off: I agreed some months ago that I would watch his son for 3 days each month from Sept thru Dec. This is a major inconvenience for me. I have classes. I've already had to take him to a class with me for 3 hours - I'd like to see ANYONE try to keep a 9 year old boy occupied and quiet for 3 solid hours on a weekday evening. Fortunately he was able to play in the computer lab, but I still had to go check on him periodically. So, I can do this for him, but simple little things that I ask him to do just get shoved to the wayside. Well, that pretty much stops right now. I'm tired of being taken for granted and taken advantage of. I hate to sound like a bitch, but let's face it - I AM a bitch. I'm just a bitch in hiding so to speak. I'm over this. So, next time he calls me at the last minute (like he did two weeks ago) to ask me if I can pick up his son for after-school care, the answer will be "No". Can I watch him for a couple of hours? "No". Any other requests - NO. I'm tired of it. As it is, I am barely holding it together for myself. Things just have a way of cropping up at the last minute and they have to be dealt with. There's too much to do and not enough time to do it in. I really need to work 24/7 this weekend to get caught up on homework. I have no idea when I will be able to finish working on everything that I need to finish.

On the flip side - I applied for a different position with my job today. I know that I won't get it - but I wanted to throw my hat in the ring so at least they know that I am interested in moving up beyond teaching and into the curriculum area with the school. We'll see what happens. I would at least like to get an interview if nothing else. Again, I probably won't get it - there are, I'm sure, too many others out there that have more experience than I do that will be applying. Although, this is sometimes part of my problem.... I do not have enough confidence in myself to go after things sometimes - especially if it puts me "out there" or sets me up for failure somehow. This is something that I know that I need to work on - but one step at a time - I need to kick C out in Dec first, then finish school, then think about moving or talking to my school about moving to GA. So, that's it for the night - I think I'm going out for ice cream :)


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