Sunday, April 25, 2010


Okay, so everything is fine - I was just being weird. He was really, really, really tired and I think that was part of the problem :(
I *think* we are making progress. We picked out some paint colors for his bedroom. The first round - not so good - green (and not my fav color - but his) - he hated it. I suggested a smoky blue - he loves it :) We've kind of looked at some ideas for re-doing his bathroom over the weekend - just shopping and looking. We have some similar tastes. It's ultimately his house, but at least he is asking my opinion and what I like/dislike - kind of nice.
I'm hoping we get to the point of moving in together. I think his house is going to have to be really, really, really cleaned out before that can happen. He still has so much of his parents stuff there in several rooms, and I think it's just hard for him to cope with on his own. We got the closet cleaned out one weekend - that was a BIG step. The next rainy weekend we will spend painting - and then he will move his parents furniture out of his bedroom and his furniture in - so it will feel more like his.
His neighbors LOVE me :) One of them has said she has never seen him like this with anyone - and as far as they know he's never dated seriously until me. We did an impromptu party one Friday night - one of his neighbors I hadn't met before asked me if I was living there already! I guess my car being there overnight (I park on the street) is kind of obvious to the neighbors... :)
I'm really enjoying the time with him and with his friends. He so loves to entertain - I enjoy it as well. It's been really, really, really hard to get work done and get caught up :P. I only have one more week of actual teaching with my AP kids, so I'm looking forward to this week ending - which means this week will probably drag as well.
I know he cares about me. I think he cares for me as much as he is able to do so right now. It's going to take some time. I think I heard a phrase somewhere that summarizes how I feel about him - I can live without him, I just don't want to. I want him in my life. I hate when I'm not with him - just hanging out. We are still "working" on that to be comfortable as I know he has to do work at home sometimes - we just treasure the time we have together so much that it makes it hard to get things done. He is still just as amazing and I love him a little more each day :)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


is either different, or I'm just being paranoid...I don't know which. I hope I'm just being paranoid. D sounded different on the phone tonight - normal, but just different. I also asked if he would like to stay here tomorrow (he didn't drive back today) and he said (which I can understand) that he would really like to sleep in his own bed after a week and a half - which I can understand. But odd that he didn't suggest that maybe I just stay at his place. The paranoid part of me is thinking he's changed his mind since we've been apart for almost 2 weeks....or that being around the stress of a wedding has made him think that it's something he doesn't want to do, so it might be best to just break it off with me now. The "normal" side of me is saying not to worry - he's just still tired and stressed and it's been a tough 2 weeks for him. I'm not sure how I will handle him telling me (if that's what is going to happen) that he wants to just be friends. It literally hurts to think about that happening. I've NEVER had a relationship go so well for so long - there's always something that I find that I just can't deal with - that hasn't happened here. So, I'm scared, nervous, anxious - just about every emotion possible. Today has DRAGGED on - I'm not sure tomorrow will be much better. He said he will try to call later tonight or sometime tomorrow from the road - if he does (especially if he calls back tonight) I think I will be more reassured by everything. If not, I don't think it's going to be a good night - the ugly paranoid part of me is not going to be pretty.....

Saturday, April 10, 2010


Spring break is almost done and I've NOT gotten everything accomplished that I needed to - YIKES!!! Tomorrow will be a busy day - as will Monday. BUT - only THREE.MORE.DAYS until he is back!!!!! So anxious to see him and really talk and see how he is doing after all this - it's just so much. I've already promised a VERY long full body (front and back) massage - he's going to need it! I don't think he'll stay awake for the whole thing though!
I got my hair cut/colored today - FINALLY - it's been 6 months - I didn't even realize it had been that long! It looks phenomenal! I didn't tell D I was getting it done - I can't wait to see his reaction and see if he really likes it. It's summer, so I had her put the blond (dark blond) back in for me - and do the all over color to get rid of the gray :P Looks a MILLION times better now!
I'm still sick - so that has slowed me down. I'm still going to try and get his yard done for him tomorrow - I may not get as much done as I had planned, but I still want to help in some way. Grading papers most of the rest of the day tomorrow. I still have Monday in 3 classes to play catch up with some stuff, so we'll see how that goes....sigh....need another week off!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Missing him....

Even more b/c I am sick :P. I know it would not be good to have him around me, but this is one of those RARE times I just want someone to take care of me! Talked to him again today - things are going "ok" up there - he's got the yard done - except for the fence (not sure if he will get that in or not), part of the kitchen done, a screen door replaced, and today they are cleaning out the other apartment. I went over to his place to put lime on the yard - he does it to regulate the pH as his soil gets really acidic. I didn't put enough on, so pending how I am feeling, I may go back over tomorrow and put the rest of the bag on. It also needs to be mowed - that may be a Friday chore.
As a surprise, I think I'm going to put plants in his front planter by the door :) Just to brighten it up a bit as a "welcome home" kind of thing. I may go ahead and clear out the bed that runs along the driveway too - it's full of weeds and they are moving into the yard. Again - if time and pending how I feel - I may also spray the weeds down for him.
I really, really, really miss him.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

gone for at least a week...

D is gone for AT LEAST a week :( It wouldn't be so bad, but it's my spring break. I have Ginger as it was going to be tough for him to take her along, and it's probably good that it's spring break and having her as it allows her to be out with Jedi in the yard and they aren't just laying around the house all day. So, I know things happen for a reason, but the timing just sucks. I miss him. I know it's just a week....but things are going so well with us, I was really looking forward to spending more time with him this week. I know when he gets back, we still won't have as much time as he will be backed up with work.....sigh.....
I know I can use this week to get a lot done around the house, and do my final prep for my classes to finish up the year - that doesn't temper my disappointment that much. I miss him.