You know you live in Florida when...

• You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
• You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
• Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
• You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
• When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.
• Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
• You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
• You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
• The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
• You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
• You own more than three large coolers.
• You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
• You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back"
• You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
• Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
• You catch a 13-pound redfish. In your driveway.
• You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
• You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
• At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
• You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
• There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
• You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
• Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
• Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
• Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.
• Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
• You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
• You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.
• A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
• You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
• Your child's first words, "hunker down" and you didn't go to UGA!
• Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
• Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.
• You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
• Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
• You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

I really despise...

...the assholes across the street. This will be another quick vent so I can get it off my mind before I go to bed.

C came over to help me move some stuff around and also to clean out the garage so we can use it as temporary storage. The assholes across the street are all standing around talking and have music blaring from one of their cars. He overhears them saying (which they know he can hear them) that they are just doing this now to be pains in the asses.

So, what will happen - cops. Anytime after 10 I get woken up or Chris or one of the kids is woken up by those assholes - I'm calling in a noise complaint. I'm going to continue to do it until either the cops get pissed enough for coming out for the same damn reason and start writing fines, or the assholes get sick of it and quit being pains in the asses. Why, oh why, oh why did I end up with such juvenile delinquent assholes who don't give a shit about anything living across the street from me?????

11 more months....11 more months....11 more months....11 more months....11 more months...GA....GA....GA....GA....GA.....

I hate stupid lazy people....

This will be a quick vent.

I'm leaving the gym after class tonight and trying to back out - but there is a car behind me blocking me in. I look (aggravated) and realize it's NOT him - it's the idiot in front of him - WHO IS GOING TO A GYM TO WORK OUT AND IS WAITING ON A PARKING SPOT WITH HIS BLINKER ON SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WALK AS FAR TO GO INSIDE. Dude - you are going in to work out - WTF??? Walk the extra 20 feet to the gym entrance rather than hold up three people because you are too freaking lazy - if you're that lazy, you don't belong in the gym!!!!!! Go home and be a couch potato or something - b/c you are pissing the rest of us off and wasting our time!

Funk

I'm in a funk. I really can't figure out why.

I'd like to fastforward through this next year and have it be exactly one year from now - August 20, 2006 - then instead of moving furniture around in my house right now, I'd hopefully be moving furniture OUT of my house to move to Georgia.

I moved a bookshelf today and realized just how beat up my carpet is - ugh. I don't want to change it right now either, especially if I am going to leave. If I pick something that the next person doesn't want, then it's wasted money. I was hoping to put wood floors down this year - but there's no realy point to doing that either.

I sat down and read the entire 6th Harry Potter book today. Not joking. I got up early, walked, did some grading, did the yard, took a shower, then started reading. Started maybe around 11 AM, finished at 5:30 PM. Not too bad. Although I really should have been reading one of my text books for class - oh well - I never get to read for pleasure anymore anyways.

There's a house in my neighborhood for sale - it's the same model as mine. They bought it for 133K. Mine was 131K - theirs is on a slightly bigger lot. The yard is not well kept, and the fence looks like shit. They are asking 299K for it - I almost choked when I saw that. Although, it's really encouraging. If I can even get 250K out of this house next year, I would have no problem finding a place in GA, getting rid of most of my furniture that I have now (which I absolutely hate and want to get rid of anyways) and be able to not only put 20% down on a new house up there (that will undoubtably be larger than what I have now and on a bigger piece of land - and I really want a pool) and get new furniture as well. It's something that I am definitely looking forward to. I think I will shit a brick if that house actually sells for 299K - that's just a ridiculous asking price in my opinion. I'll be interested to see what it actually sells for - I will definitely watch for it. Public records online is a wonderful thing!

So, no reason for the funk. I wish I could figure out why I feel like this. Just can't pinpoint it for some reason. Oh well - maybe I will wake up tomorrow and be able to figure it out. Or maybe it's just b/c I sat around and read all day and now have no motivation to do much of anything else. .....sigh.....

Roommate??

I'm thinking about taking a roommate - for a couple of reasons - and there are pros and cons to it that I need to think about - especially with this particular person.

Reasons why I'm thinking about it:
1) Money - it's going to a be a little tight now that I am only doing one job - at least until December. I am making more money, but it isn't enough to cover unforeseen things that may happen (i.e. the window breaking in my car - which C is going to fix for me tomorrow for free once I get the part :)
2) Companionship - it would be nice to have someone around to talk to periodically and have a person here, rather than the phone. I love my dog dearly, but it just doesn't cut it some days, especially now that I am working full time from home - adult contact is important!
3) Maintenance - it would be nice to have someone to help me around the house when something breaks and I feel like an idiot for not knowing how to fix it.
4) Pet care - my brother will always take Jedi for me when I leave, but the cat is another story. It would be great to have someone here to help with that if possible.

Cons:
1) Who - it would be C - which is not a bad thing EXCEPT: he has full custody of one of his kids that stays with him during the week and he has custody of his other three on the weekends. They are older, so it wouldn't be too bad - weekends would be a little interesting with the three of them around. During the week I don't think it would be a problem.
2) Furniture - I would have some major reorganizing and moving stuff around between now and September (when his current lease is up). I would also have to get rid of the desk that I currently have - again not a big deal since I hate it; and maybe buy a sleeper sofa - again, not a big deal b/c I would like new living room furniture. Yes, I know - I'm taking a roommate to help with expenses, and I'm thinking about spending more money. Yes, I'm insane - but I think it could work. I have enough to pay cash for the desk and 1/2 cash for the sofa.
3) Money - I'm not really comfortable taking $$ from a friend - it would be weird. I can't even talk about it with him right now - it's just weird.
4) Pets - he also has a dog. I know Jedi is okay with it, but I'm not sure how my cat will react.

So, C and I have talked about it tonight, along with some advice from my second mom before I talked to him, and he's going to come over one night this week so we can see if anything will work - especially with the furniture. I want to get rid of some of mine, and he wants to get rid of a lot of his, so it might work out okay. Some of his stuff will have to go into storage though - either in a storage place here or to his parent's house on the west coast. We've also decided to maybe try it this coming weekend with the kids here and see how it works - if it works or not. Then, we've agreed to maybe try it until December, then sit down and talk it out. If either one of us is uncomfortable, then he finds another place and no hard feelings - so it's really about 3 months that we would try it and see what happens. He knows that I'm planning on moving around August or September next year, but I also know he may have his own branch to manage by then or before then, so he may even be gone before I move out.

So, all you lovely readers out there..... advice here would be welcome. I've never really had a roommate except for a couple of years in college - and for two of them, I was living with my ex-husband and one of his friends, so I don't know if that counts. I've only ever lived with my ex in a house, and then have lived on my own for the past four years, and for another year and a half when we first broke up after I graduated from college.

C is a little happy about this - I can tell in his voice. I also know he really doesn't like where he lives. The neighborhood is not great and if it were just him w/o the kids, it wouldn't be a problem. Here, there is a playground and kids in the same age groups as his, so it would be safer for them and he wouldn't worry so much about them being outside or playing outside. So, comments? Suggestions? I've given this alot of thought, and we've (C and I) have kind of discussed it a little bit over the past couple of weeks, but I've been really hesitant, and C has not pushed (which is another thing I love about him). But today, I broached the subject in a serious manner, so he knows I'm really considering it. I don't joke about things like that.

Done for the next 9 days!!!

I have just turned in a final project for my last online class (of course it's due tomorrow - nothing like a little procrastination to get the heart pumping! lol) - so I am DONE with grad school for the next 9 days of this month :-D

So, what will I do with myself?? Hmmm.... my house is a disaster! Last night I totally cleaned my bedroom from top to bottom and threw out a bunch of crap - that felt really, really good :) I got clothes and some other things ready to take to GoodWill as well. That will now have to wait until after Monday so I can get my damn car window fixed.

Then, once I manage to finish cleaning my house, I think I will start reading books for next term. Yes, I am a nerd. However, it takes me forever to read something for school since I have to take notes, so I need to get started on it now. My two science courses are scaring the crap out of me - I glanced at the books (which are NOT small) and I think they are going to kick my butt. I know the other classes I am taking will have a lot of project based work, but I'm okay with that. I'm NOT okay with the science stuff - and I'm just betting (based on my research HELL this summer) that they will each require some sort of paper as well. .....sigh.... I'm tired of research - it sucks. Someone please remind me of this and how much I hate it when I start talking about doing my doctorate. As it is, no one is going to see me for the next five months of school (this will be my heaviest load of classes I have ever taken) and I'm still working full time. HOWEVER, I'm no longer working two jobs :) and in the spring semester this past year, I: worked two jobs - one full time during the day (which I would have to bring work home for), one part-time at home, and took 3 classes three nights each week and managed. So, I think I can handle just about anything. Plus, this summer was no picnic either - three classes, two jobs and a research report - yeah, I'm all OVER this coming semester :) I need to remember this post along about October when I am DYING!! LOL

Dependability - not!

I'm tired of being the dependable one. My friends ask for favors - even at the last minute and in some cases emergencies, and I never say no. If it's in my power to help them, I do it.

So, where are my friends this morning when I need help? Too busy to deal with me. Too tired to help out. I'm over this.

I was driving this morning, from my walk (and I've had the worst possible Saturday morning. Everything that could have gone wrong has and I've been up off/on since 4 AM) and I'm winding down the window to get some fresh air in the car and clear it out, and then I start to put the window up.....and it jams. So, my window is about 3/4 of the way closed - leaving a gap just large enough that someone could break into my car if I left it out in a parking lot somewhere. So, I call Mazda - the service guy says if I can get it up there in the next 30 minutes, he can take care of it today, but I'd have to drop it off. So, I'm calling all my friends to see if someone can meet me up there and take me home and bring me back up later. BOTH of my friends that I am calling live within about 20 minutes of the Mazda place and it's maybe 35-40 minutes back to my house depending on traffic. Can either one of them help me? Nope.

Hmmmm......I think I'm tired of being the dependable one. R called me back and said she made a mistake and has to go to the airport earlier today than she thought. Well, guess what - I can't do that today. One - if it rains, my car is going to flood. It's Florida, it's summer, it rains every freaking afternoon. Two - I have things that need to get done outside in my yard today, and I'm not waiting until this afternoon (when it rains) to do them - they need to be done now. So, sorry, can't take you to the airport anymore. I could tell she was pissed. She said, "Well, I'm going to call around and see if I can find someone else to take me then. I can't rely on a 'maybe' to take me." Well, thanks for NOT taking me to the Mazda place this morning too so I could get my car fixed.

Then, as I am driving home, trying to call everyone I know in town on my cell to see if someone could take me (and no one could), all I could think of is "Hmmm...if I were in Georgia right now, I wouldn't have this problem. My dad would be available to help me with this immediately and the problem would be solved." I'm really, really, really tired of being the dependable one.

Trail time

I love walking on the trails around town. My favorite one is in Winter Springs, but there is one less than 1/8 of a mile from my house and we have an entrance from my subdivision that leads onto the trail.

I love the trails because it gives me time to think while I am walking w/Jedi. I don't use a CD player or listen to music, I just walk, enjoy the birds and various other animals that we see and think. My favorite sounds are the cicadas in the trees on the springs trail - in the early morning it's just an incredibly peaceful sound. The birds start moving around and waking up and singing - it's wonderful.

What do I think about? I think about everything. Last night C said I am very cerebral when it comes to relationships or just life in general. He's right (and I hate it when he's right), but I am. I think most women are to some extent - at least more so than men. We just analyze things more before we act on them.

My thoughts were not very coherent this morning. I also wasn't really awake. I did enjoy a wonderful sunrise, and Jedi almost chased a cat - the same freaking cat that was in my yard and it was almost a mile away from it's home - go figure - those people are idiots (and yes, I think I actually said that aloud to Jedi this AM once the cat scampered off - I know, I know, but I DO talk to my dog!!!)

So, trail time is *me* time. I take Jedi with me b/c I simply can't imagine leaving him inside on a gorgeous morning. He's great. And he LOVES to walk. He gets all excited and his eyes perk up and his eyes - literally - light up. He got spoiled before the walk today too - I woke up at 5 AM for no apparent reason and rather than get up and work, I gave him a 45 minute tummy rub and then dozed until 6:30. Yes, I spoil my dog. Or as my dad says "He's not spoiled, he's loved a lot".

So, I may be single, and I may have hated the grocery store last night, but I do have things that I enjoy doing that are just for me. And I won't give those up even if I do find someone - b/c it's me time, and that is just as important as "us" time in relationship world. I may be single, but I'm not dead and I'm not unhappy - I just had a small panic attack and now I'm fine. Of course, school (grad) begins in 11 days and I am seriously rethinking my schedule for that today. For the first time in my life, I think I may not be able to handle something and I am actually admitting it to myself while I still have time to make a change. Progress - YES!

Singles night at Publix - ugh

Okay, so - Publix is the local grocery store in Florida. I ran out of milk this AM for breakfast (and I can NOT eat breakfast without milk, it's just not a possibility), so I had to go to the store. Apparently, I missed the flyer that Publix sent out saying that Wednesday afternoon was the "middle - to - old age singles night". Yep, not kidding. So, that now goes on my calendar as the day NOT to go to Publix. Why? It's a little depressing seeing these 45+ year olds tottering (not lying) up and down every single frigging aisle (even the pet aisle, but they don't have a pet) just to have something to do on a Wednesday afternoon/early evening. I got depressed, or as my friend R said, I had a "singles panic attack". Yes, don't really get it. Of why I'm still single.

Perfect example of why I don't get it - and I'm not jealous of any of my friends, but I just don't get the way the world or fate or whatever the hell you want to call it works.....

I'm fairly successful - I can support myself financially and not be a burden on anyone. I own my own place (not a renter throwing money out the window), I'm reasonably attractive - no facial scars or a third eye or anything, decent shape (not perfect, but who is??), enjoy lots of activities, well-read and I'm going back to school to further my education and eventually get a better job. Then, there's a friend of mine that I knew for several years who got married a couple of years ago and is expecting twins. She's really not that attractive, she was/is very overweight and not very active, she never went to college, could barely support herself and has an incredbily acerbic personality - I saw her run clients off (she owned a small business for a couple of years before she closed it down when she got married). Her husband is wonderful. I've met him - sweet, kind, considerate, etc. So, how does someone like her get married and I can't make a relationship work? Just. don't. get it.

Here's the thing that keeps crossing my mind - men, especially older men, don't want a 30-something year old. They want something younger, prettier, more energetic (or so they think) woman. So, as I get older, my chances become slimmer of actually finding someone that I would want to marry, or more importantly that wants to get married to a 30 something woman. So, feeling very single tonight. It doesn't help that work is overwhelming at the moment, it is pouring down rain, and I'm home alone. Can't even walk the dog right now with the stupid rain - I would go b/c I really need to escape the house, but even tho my dog is a Lab and supposedly loves water, he hates to walk in the rain. And I have an incredible headache that just won't go away.

So, is there an answer to the dilemma. Um, nope. Except don't go to Publix on Wednesday afternoons/evenings.

Legally brunette moments

I absolutely love the movie Legally Blond. If you are a woman and you've seen it, you'll already know why. I watch this when I get off track and need to get my focus back - it never fails to help.
So, this past week has been a week full of legally brunette moments (since I am not a blond, although I do have blond highlights :). I'm slowly, but steadily, getting my life back in order and regaining my focus. Part of it has been that grad school summer session is winding down and I'm feeling better about starting the new semester. I'm getting more comfortable in my new job and getting into a better routine during the day to balance work, "me" time, grad school work and dog time. I've also recruited some people to help me stay on track with my weight loss and exercise goals. Since my divorce, that has been a sore spot with me. And the last two years have been terrible - I read recently in several different places (including one of my grad school texts) that weight gain around the waist, especially in women, is caused by stress and this also could lead to increased risk for heart disease and type II diabetes. My family has a well-known history of heart problems - and they've already found two in me that are not critical and will probalby not impact me, but I really don't want to go through heart surgery. The last two years ALL of the weight I've put on (about 10 pounds or so) has seemed to go straight to my waist. I hate it. So, I'm taking more positive steps to reduce stress and set goals that are realistic for losing the weight in a healthy way that doesn't involve extreme dieting, but does involve lifestyle changes.

So, my routine now (which I LOVE that I can do this with my new job - I could not with my old one due to having to get to work so early): I get up around 5:40 or so - which is the same time I used to get up, so it's no big change there, BUT instead of jumping the shower and rushing to get to school, I get my butt to the gym and spend about 40 minutes weight training and another 30 or so doing some type of cardio. I come home from the gym and if it's not incredibly hot/humid already (this is about 7:30 AM) - I walk the dog about 2 miles (another 30 minutes of moderate cardio). I then work from home from about 9 - noon and break for lunch. I spend my afternoons running errands or doing grad work or cleaning up around the house, then in the evenings I work a little more - which usually means making phone calls to my students. I stop around 8 and do whatever else needs to be done until bedtime. AND I'm trying to consistently get between 7-8 hours of sleep each night - 8 is ideal for me, but minimum is 7 I've found.

I was not getting that much sleep with my regular job - it was about 6 a night average - which I've also read contributes to the stress response and weight gain at the waist. ....sigh.... If I had known this sooner, I don't think it would have made that much of a difference - I had to keep the schedule I was on. What WOULD have made a difference is not having so much stress at my school during the day caused by my former a**hole of a principal and his lackey - my assistant principal (who also turned out to be an a**).

Other things I do to de-stress include adding yoga during the day at least a couple of times a week. I'm also occasionally doing my cardio in the afternoons and taking a class just to mix things up. And, I'm watching what I eat - right now WeightWatchers is my friend :) I like it because it's not a "diet" - but it's helping me be more conscious of what I eat by monitoring/journaling my food and I can see when I am making healthy choices, and when I am making stressful choices. I've also recruited 4 friends to motivate me - three of which are going to also embark on the weight-loss journey with me so we can keep each other motivated. A support system is critical. I used to have a personal trainer and she was my support system (my ex never would support anything I was doing - but he sure would pick on me, example: Why don't you get breast implants? You would look thinner. Nice guy, huh?) So, can't afford the trainer, but I CAN afford friends :)

I didn't mean for this to be a weight-loss rant this AM - but I did need to see it in black & white. Other things in my life are slowly getting under control as well. My house is slowly returning to normal and getting cleaned. I had to put a lot on hold due to trying to wrap up school for the summer. This weekend will be the finishing touches on the inside of getting my place cleaned and organized, then I will slowly begin working on the garage and getting boxes unpacked or stored, and throwing stuff out that I no longer want/need for any reason. I will soon be making my "master" list of things that I would like to do before the end of the year - but are not critical to be completed immediately. Then, as I have time, I will schedule those activities. For me, planning is crucial and allows me to stay on task and feel as though I have accomplished my goals - whether they be small (logging my food and exercise) or huge (finishing grad school) - I have to plan. But, I've been learning to set more realistic goals on a daily, weekly and monthly basis that are also allowing me to not stress and see things more clearly, and I'm not wigging out at the little things so much anymore. Example: my bank switched my credit card number and I forgot to change it on the online bill payer thing I use. So, my entire payment ( a BIG chunk of $$) went to the wrong card and it was showing a negative balance and the new one was showing no change. So, I calmly called the bank, explained what had happened and verified that they would take care of it for me. Done. The not-so-old me would have flipped out - even on the phone - the "newer" me is beginning to realize that shit happens and that to de-stress, I need to deal with things a little more calmly.

Oh, and the new me is planning a vacation for my spring break in March - and one of my friends (who is in the virtual weight-loss group) is planning on joining me :) Carribean vaca here I come!!!!!