Sunday, May 17, 2009

Realization - a big step

I just realized something this morning - I've gotten better at "mingling."
I had a meeting/presentation to attend this past week. Normally, I'm very shy and a "wallflower" when I'm in situations with large groups - even in areas I'm comfortable in (like national/state conferences that I attend regularly). I normally find someone I'm comfortable around and stay near them the entire time. I don't know where this "fear" came about as I was once very outgoing in high school. Anyways, I realized this morning that at this meeting - I didn't stay near my friend that was with me - I branched out on my own and did what I wanted to do :) Now, it could very well be that I knew many of the "helpers" (not presenters) so I had a higher comfort level - but either way - it's a big step forward for me :)

Friday, May 15, 2009


Jedi knows I'm upset. I hate that, as it just feeds back into me that I'm causing my dog unnecessary anxiety.
Apparently, I have a stalker. I won't go into details (although he's not smart enuf to even find this blog....) - but I've notified the police and filed an information report. I didn't want to do a full out report yet as it's been 6 months, BUT I got some disturbing news via email from his current fiancee (who, apparently is now his ex-fiancee).
The question comes to mind - "Why me?" I hate this. I think this is why I just don't date. There are aspects of it - like this - that are so not worth it.
So, I sit here, in my house, wondering if I will hear a knock on the door or the doorbell ring and awake to my dog barking and growling - which he always does when that happens. The officer offered to call him and tell him that if he comes here again, it's trespassing. However, he had a good point - let's not put that idea into his head right now.
So, I think it's NOT going to be a good night. I could be wrong. I hope I am. I mean that in terms of my being able to sleep. I can't even walk in the AM for an unease about him appearing in my neighborhood. The police have said they will increase patrols in the early AM (his eyes went a little wild when I told him what time I get up! LOL - the officer I mean), but I'm still uneasy.
Believe me - it doesn't help that there's a storm moving in. The dog senses the air pressure drop as well, so he's been nervous b/c of that, as well as me all night....sigh.....