Everything's coming up Roses :)

I love roses. Not the "bring me a bouquet of red roses" type of rose infatuation - I love rose bushes and all the different varieties and smells that they each have - even the names are fun. In case you haven't guessed - my rosebushes in my yard are in bloom :) I planted the new ones over a month ago and they have FINALLY bloomed. Jackson & Perkins rocks - that's where I bought them. I am so happy with them, that I am half toying with the idea of totally ripping up the yard along the front walkway to make room for more bushes and order them this weekend. It's so much easier to mail order roses. I love the nursery that I go to, but they get them from the same company, and charge me $20 per rose. J & P's range in price, but I can get six hedge/shrub roses for about $50 instead of $80 - plus, I can get what I want. The four I just planted were 2 of the Disneyland rose (hybrid tea I think), Peace (grandiflora) and John F. Kennedy (which hasn't bloomed - but I think it's a hybrid tea). The Peace smells INCREDIBLE. Unfortunately, I didn't get to it in time and the bloom was already starting to fall apart, but I was able cut one of the Disneyland roses and bring it inside today for my little flower vase that I got from my grandmother. It smells pretty good too. My little mini rose - Hot Tamale (see, aren't the names fun?) - is starting to bloom again, and my two hurricane surviving rose bushes have been in bloom all year :) I'm starting to think nothing can kill those two! I don't know what variety they are - I got them at my school for $5 each and just stuck them in the ground to see what would happen - they survived being uprooted and flooded by the 3 hurricanes last year, so I'm fairly confident they are going to pull through again this year.
I absolutely love working in my yard. I've got more plants to pull up and re-plant this weekend, and also some new stuff to go in. It's just relaxing. And it's not so hot just yet that working outside is unbearable - it unfortunately will be soon however - ugh. This is one of the many reasons that I have considered moving to Georgia - the weather is still hot in the summer, but it stays milder longer and it cools down sooner in the fall. Florida has two seasons - hot and warm. It sucks.
My gardenias are also blooming - I can just smell them when I am in the backyard around my tree. I didn't think those would survive either - I got 4 of them for $8 at my school again and they were pretty much sticks without a lot of foliage on them when I put them in the ground. Now, they are taller and green as green can be and very healthy - lots and lots of fertilizer and water will do wonders for plants!
I'm actually pretty terrible when it comes to landscaping and growing stuff - my dad is much better at it - but he's had more practice and he gives me lots of tips - so I'm slowly improving at it. Next year, I will have much more time to devote to my plants - which means my house will look even more appealing when I come home to it everyday :)

Excuses, excuses

Okay, so my friend and I have class together on Thursday nights for our Master's degree program that we are both in. Since classes ended last week, we agreed that we would devote the time we normally spend in class on Thursday nights at the gym together instead. Since we are already used to doing the Thursday night (and Tuesday night - but different classes) thing, we figured that we could do this.
So, I call her at work and ask "What time are we meeting?" since we didn't specify. I also mention that I can't go to the movie afterwards with her and co-workers b/c I played last night and didn't finish some work that needed to be done. Her response: I need to stay and finish this up and I'll just go at 10:30 after the movie. Hmm....yeah, okay - she won't go. I know her WAY to well. She's pulled this kind of thing on me before. We make plans to go walking or go to the gym and either she doesn't go by canceling at the last minute, or she shows up late. So, the excuses have started already. I guess the only reason this really ticks me off is b/c she mentioned on the phone that she is going to stay late tomorrow and work and leave town on Saturday morning instead so she can finish this project she is working on. So, if she's staying late tomorrow, why can't she go to the gym tonight???
Me - I'm still going. I need to get my a** on the treadmill again. My short term goal is to run a 5K within the next 6 months or sooner (sooner is obviously better, but I'm not a runner, so I'm giving myself time to mold myself into one....). Plus, I DISCOVERED YOGA LAST NIGHT!!! Wow - what a stress reliever. I am HOOKED!! There is a class tomorrow night that I am going to as well - different instructor, but I don't care. Also, I need something to help "lengthen" me. I went to my doctor on Tuesday and they did my height and I am 5' 8.5" - WTF!!!! I was 5'10" in college - I've lost an inch and a half in 10 years???? So, time to work on this whole posture thing - I like being tall. I used to hate it as a kid, but now I love it. So, time to run (literally) and then do the "rack" class (aka yoga - you know - the old medieval rack where they stretched you out until you screamed, but with heavy breathing instead of screaming in yoga :) okay, let's not go any further with THAT thought right now! lol) tomorrow :) No excuses for me!!!!

How to remove a barnacle

Okay, so, one of my students coined the term "barnacle" to describe a guy who is clingy and won't let go. I thought it was actually a pretty good use of a word, considering I, myself, am dealing with a barnacle that I am attempting to extricate myself from. I, once again, tried to call him back tonight and got his voicemail on his phone. He did call me earlier, so I know he's around and he only uses a cell, so don't know what the deal is, but anyways....

This will sound pathetic - he's a great guy. Funny, great personality, a gentleman, caring, compassionate, intelligent, makes a good living ...etc. However, I am just not comfortable being intimate or touchy-feely with him. It's just not there. I've given it about 4 months - at the urging of numerous friends who thought I was nuts to give up on such a wonderful guy - but it's just not there. Kissing is not enjoyable, cuddling is not fun and I don't feel comfortable. I've narrowed it down to a couple of things (which will sound even more pathetic):

1) He's 13 years older than I am, which is not a problem for me (he's 45) BUT - he looks like he's 50. I feel like I am dating my father and that's just plain wrong.
2) The man can't dress. I swear he has one pair of dirty sneakers that I would use in the yard. He wore them on our first date, and it's the only pair of shoes I've ever seen him wear. Hmm....he makes six figures - buy some nice shoes for goodness sake! Okay - this might clear this little thing up - I am a shoe HOUND. I love shoes - I do. It's one of the things I notice first about guys - petty, stupid, childish - but if you're on a first date - dress to impress, don't look like you just came in from yardwork. That's okay once you "with" someone for a while, but in the getting to know you stage, it's all about impressions.
3) The man has a memory like a sieve. I had to email him my schedule - which, by the way, does NOT normally change - which I mentioned to him in the email. Gist of email - do not call me on nights I have class. I won't answer and I'm too tired to call back later. So, when does he always call and leave a message (at home AND on my cell) - when I am IN CLASS. It's gotten really annoying.
4) His yard looks like *#@!. This is an issue for me - it says-"I don't care about what my house looks like and take no pride in it". Hmmm... I DO take pride in my home and want it to look nice. Working the yard is relaxing to me and I enjoy it and value it - I like my home to look nice and appealing when I come home everyday.
5) I cannot stand his cologne and he wears a gallon of it. BIG turn off. Just can't do it. I'm not sensitive to smells, but I swear it's the same aftershave my dad wears. Yes - fixable, but with all the other things, it just adds up to too much stuff to be fixed.
6) His age and he wants kids - which means if this were to go somewhere, I would probably end up having kids almost immediately, which I don't want to do right now.
7) When I think of what my life would be like in 5 or 10 years, I can't picture him there with me. Big warning sign. A very influential teacher that I had once told me "If you can't see yourself doing something, it's probably not meant to be." I can't see me with him, so I just don't think it's going to happen.

So, some of the reasons above are probably shallow, some are more gut instinct. My gut was telling me this 4 months ago - so I've decided I won't ask my friends for dating advice any more. If the gut says no, it means no and then I back out before I have a permanent thing attached to my phone(s) that I cannot unglue. Did you know that they make denture glue from secretions from barnacles? Yes, they are that strong and stay put even when you dump a ton of water on them. I need to scrape this one off!!!

BEACH DAY!!!!!!

Okay, tomorrow is supposed to be absolutely beautiful. So, since I haven't seen a beach since the cruise in January, I've decided to blow everything off that needs to get done at home and go! There is a beautiful beach on the west coast that allows dogs :) So, Jedi will be going with me. They must be kept on a six-foot lead, but as long as he is under voice command while in the water and immediately comes back to me, then he's fine. It will be his first beach experience. Yes, I know, he's almost 6 and I've been a lazy owner when it comes to getting him to the beach. I DO live in Orlando, so it's not like it's a block away. It will take me about 90 minutes to even get there from here.
Other reason I am going - I really, really, really need to get out of town and clear my head. I've gotten seriously off track with things that are important, and I need to get it back. I am going stir-crazy here just thinking about things. So, a day off won't kill me :) They open at 8 AM, so I'm going to try to leave early and miss traffic and get there before most everyone else does. I haven't really had a beach to myself since I went to the Andros Island (Bahamas) about 10 years ago - I'm hoping I can get there early enuf to at least have a little bit of time to myself and have the beach all to myself :)
Time to re-evaluate everything. Altho, I think some people will not be happy with some of my decisions. But, it's my life and I only get one shot - it's time for me to focus on me again and not lose site of my goals and dreams. I've lost site the last couple of months and I can definitely feel a difference - mentally, emotionally and physically. It's time to clean my emotional house!!!!!!!

Oh - if I can ever figure out how to post pics on here, I am taking the digital with me tomorrow - how could I take Jedi to the beach for his very first visit and NOT take pics!! lol

Random thoughts on a beautiful Sunday morning

I've had the greatest start to my day :) It's absolutely beautiful outside - breezy, no clouds, brillant blue sky, and temp is around 66 or so. I took a long walk with Jedi this morning and saw a ton of birds, and heard more than I saw. I treated myself to pancakes (homemade buttermilk) which I NEVER do (I usually go visit my dad twice a year and he makes them for me :) yes, youngest, only girl and spoiled rotten!), and everything just seems peachy keen this AM.

The concrete guy is now working on my patio in the back - my dog is frustrated b/c he can't go outside and help dig. I will hopefully have a new porch by the end of next week at the latest, then I can get the fence put in - JUST in time for hurricane season :) Wow, I can even smile about that this morning - but really that was a sarcastic smiley - but I don't know that they've created one for that yet.....

I also think, if all goes well today (I hope!!) I will be taking a new job for the next year today. It was offered to me last week, but I needed some time to think and compose some questions which are more logistical than anything else. The good news - I can work from home :) and finish one of my master's degrees by Fall, and the other by next Summer. WOOHOO!!!!!! That's IF they hire me. If not, then I will only finish one degree by next summer and I may never even finish the other one - they always offer the courses I need during the day- hmmmm.... I have to work full time, I can't afford to sit in class 3 days a week at 9 AM - duh! But, we'll see what happens.

On the downside of today, I have to be inside most of the day doing homework for class - ugh! But, I have all the windows open to air out the house and cool it down, and if it stays cool, I will probably walk Jedi again later today, or at least take him out to the field and play frisbee with him.

Last random thought - I am ready for another cruise!! Or, at the very least, another vacation where I can sit on a beach and bake in the sun for several hours..... although, once my fence goes in, I will be able to do JUST THAT!!!!!!

I lied - last random thought just in..... I hate daylight savings time. That was the only bad start to my morning. I got up early - or so I thought - to walk, came home and found out it was an hour later than I thought it was. If I had remembered that last night, I would have adjusted my schedule. Oh well, it doesn't hurt today, but getting up early tomorrow for work is going to SUCK. But hey, that's tomorrow... I think I'm just going to enjoy today :)

A moral for all....

There is, actually, a life lesson to be learned in everything that you do. Sometimes you have to look for it, and sometimes it smacks you in the face - I got a smack in the face today :)

When I first started teaching, you are required to do internships. I did my first one with a teacher who, in my humble opinion (of both then and now) wasn't the best I could have been with. She would ask me, an intern, when I walked in - "What do you think we should do today?" - Now, this wouldn't be bad if she had asked me previously to prepare a lesson, but she never did. She seemed unorganized and the students didn't respond well to her - which I had noted in my observations. About a year ago, I was cleaning my office and found those observations, along with an observation that she did on me for my supervising professor. It was the most negative thing I've ever seen written about me. That I wore jeans 1/2 the time, which wasn't appropriate, I wasn't prepared for class, and that she doubted I would ever become a good teacher - yes, she actually wrote that. Now, she never discussed any of these problems with me before writing this - which I could have taken offense at and dropped the internship or requested another placement. But I took it as a challenge and did all the things she claimed I wasn't doing. The jeans thing did really pissed me off, simply because she never sat down and said "here is the dress code" and I had seen other teachers wearing jeans. So, long story short - here's the moral of the story....

I bumped into this person today. And not just at the store or something - I was actually HER mentor for the day. She was more than a bit embarassed when she figured out who I was and realized that I have already achieved my national certification - something that she is working on right now. So, this girl who was never going to be a good teacher, has actually earned the highest teaching credentials in the country. The moral, you ask? You never know who you are going to run into again later in life - so be courteous and respectful to everyone you meet. Otherwise, you may have to swallow your pride later, which believe me after seeing the look on her face this morning - it was a VERY bitter pill!!