Lying

Do all men lie? Seriously. I'd like to know.

I won't post background for this one - but I really don't think single men are capable of telling the truth. I'm not even convinced a married man can tell the truth. No offense to any guys that happen to be reading this - but I have yet to be proven wrong on this I think.

The only "man" I know who can't lie is my dog - of course, he will lay down on my bed with me - but that's not the same as lying. My English teacher would be proud.

Phone

Just once, I would like to be able to answer the phone like Bridget Jones:

"Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess. Very bad man between her thighs"

Of course, I would use my name and hope that it was not my mother (or father) on the line. Of course, that's what caller ID is for.....


In case you haven't guessed - watching the movie and, by far, that is the BEST line of the whole damn thing.

Boredom

I think I may have to stay in school forever. I'm bored. I have no homework and no reading to do. I just can't seem to focus.

I thought about going out to finish shopping for Christmas, but I really just couldn't stomach the crowds tonight.

I called my friend R to go to a movie - she's doing stuff with her mom.

That's actually a funny statement. We normally do quite a bit together - and she's been bitching and complaining about my wanting to leave for family and blah, blah, blah.....Yet, since her mom has moved here, we haven't done a thing together. I understand that up until this past weekend her mom didn't have a car, but still - she's welcome to go to a movie with us. What has really pissed me off is nights that I've asked her if she wants to go to a movie - she says she'll call back - then I find out later she went with her mom. Hmm.....

So, I find myself thinking about moving again today. I checked out some more houses/neighborhoods that my dad, stepmom and I can go look at while I am visiting in Georgia this week. I want to get an idea of the areas and make sure the subdivisions I am looking at are well-maintained - that way I can narrow down my search later. I'm really thinking about just dropping the second degree again and moving now. UGA has the same program up there, and I might be able to transfer my classes/credits. Although, I really need to sit on my house until the market picks back up again so I can get maximum buck-age out of this place. Can you tell I'm bored?? I wish it were Wednesday and I were gone. The only good thing is I have a massage appointment tomorrow and it's free - I got a gift certificate for my b-day from some girls in my group that I worked with this semester - so that is something to look forward to tomorrow.

I need to make one of my infamous lists of things I would like to get done over the holidays while I'm not in school. I also need to put some stuff on my jumpdrive to take with me to Georgia - I'm not really supposed to work, but I know that there will be times when I'll be bored up there with some time on my hands, and I do have stuff that I need to have done by the end of this month.

So, Ph.D. or not? School for the rest of my life?? Hmmm.... I need to think about that one. Ugh. I'm bored.

Today and the last four years

On this day, four years ago, I was officially divorced. It was a morning appointment with the judge, and as soon as it was done, I left the courthouse, went and got my school ID for my adjunct job online, then went back to the courthouse to get the official paperwork for my name change.

Here's what I've accomplished since then:
I did my National Board teaching certification - it took 2 years, but I started it that January after my divorce.
I bought my house - which is decorated and painted the way I want it.
I bought real furniture for my master bedroom - I have not had real, matching furniture (even while married) since I left my parents house at 17 for college at UCF.
I finally began to feel (and still am) financially stable for the first time since I've been an adult. The house and buying a car a few months prior and the furniture helped quite a bit.
I have gone back to school for my Master's degree and started a second one.
I will graduate with one Master's degree tomorrow - December 13th - in 4 semesters = 17 months.
I will graduate with a second Master's degress in August of next year. 2 Master's degrees in 2 years - even I have a hard time believing it.
I fenced in my back yard for my dog.
I've had two semi-serious relationships and have learned quite a bit from both of them. More importantly, I've learned how I should NOT be treated by a man and the warning signs when these things happen. I feel like I am becoming more aware of what I need and desire and am not concerned anymore about what others think of me. I've become more mature.
I added on a patio to my house. Again, along with the fence, that whole financial independence thing - it rocks.
I've worked two summers in a row for Johns Hopkins University in Pennsylvania - not a bad thing to have on the resume.
I've attended a couple of national conferences - haven't presented at any recently, but I'll get back into it when I have more time.
I went on my first vacation in I don't even know how long - it felt good.
I'm planning my next vacation already. It's a toss up between: Italy, Costa Rica, Grand Cayman or Barbados. It will depend on the time of year and where I am this time next year - but I WILL go to one of the above.
I bought my first piece of "real" jewelry for myself - a sapphire and diamond ring. I LOVE it. Again - that financial independence thing is good :)

I guess what this all leads to is I've realized that I am where I need to be at this moment in time. Things seem to be falling into place and I'm happy with my decisions and what I've been able to accomplish. I should be ecstatic about graduation tomorrow - but it's kind of hard to be excited when I know I have to go back to school in January! ...sigh.... I know it's a big deal, but right now it just doesn't feel like it. At any rate - life is good, I'm happy, and things are starting to look up again for me.

What goes around....

...comes around. Okay - B - don't freak or yell at me when you read this - but you're really going to get a kick out of it!!

Background on this one: I fell in love with someone - after my divorce. Suffice it to say he lied and cheated on me and I gave him wwwwwaaaayyyy too many opportunities to come back. The third time was it. He called me LAST January to "talk" and catch up - just out of the blue. Said "I'll give you a call next week sometime". Okay, so that was the longest week I've ever experienced. He called tonight - my house twice and my cell and left a messages on both (guess he doesn't realize I have caller ID and I can figure out how many times he's called....).

So what's coming around? I did leave him, even though I was in love with him and would have done anything for him. So, he tells me about this girl he met last April - he pretty much moved in with her and then, out of the blue at the end of September (as he was getting his house ready to sell - that's how serious he said it was getting) - she kicks him out and won't tell him why.

Can I just say how big of a grin I have on my face right now? Wow. And here's the going 'round coming 'round part: I could tell by the tone of his voice he's in love with her - still. And he is perplexed and hurt and confused - all the same things he put me through when I was dating him and practically living at his house. I'm not grinning because I'm happy he's hurt. I don't think hurting someone is a cause to be happy. I'm actually not sure why I'm grinning - maybe because I was right about him all along? (and I really, really love it when I'm right - B: ABSOLUTELY no comments on that one! ...wink....) Someone please explain why I'm happy about this?

The other thing - he can't answer me why he called me tonight OR why he didn't call me back "last week" last year - no reason at all. Why now? No reason given. Am I going to get sucked back in to this? Hmmmmm....lemme think - not just "no" but "HELL NO". I think I've gotten stronger about that than my divorce. Also, I don't love him anymore. Love = trust. He's not someone I can trust. I have no desire to see him. I called simply because I really was curious of why he called me after all this time. Also, a part of me (and this is my twisted, evil part that just has to prove herself - and I know, I really need to get over this) had to gloat about everything I've done in the past year - and I've done quite a bit. Without him or his support or his help. I can do things on my own. I've shown that - but a part of me just had to rub it in. And rub I did! ;) I couldn't help it - and thanks to my second-mom, I've learned how to be very "tactful" and nonchalant in how I do it - and very sarcastic (which is really second nature to me). So, it was an interesting night. Will he call again? Who knows. Do I really care? No, not really. I'm over it. I've learned how to be stronger after my divorce. I've learned how to distance myself from situations and emotions that might be detrimental to me. Besides, I'm pretty much gone soon anyways. Seven. More. Months. = ONE MORE DEGREE!! I'm going to stick it out.

So, B - I know you will have thoughts on this gf. Or, the big "W" for me ;) But, I must say, I really think I handled the conversation well.

It came around.

One. More. Day.

So, I had my only two "real" final exams today. They started at 7 AM - I started (woke up) around 4:30 to get to campus early and have some quiet time to study without the distractions at the house. I'm hoping it paid off. I'm pretty sure I have an A in my molecular biotech class - I'm unsure about my bacteria class - ugh. His questions are just bizarre and way too specific.

So, tomorrow, our group is meeting for the last time to deal with the project for my last class. I will do some work on it tomorrow here, but we still have to do some clean up on it - ugh.

At this point I'm really questioning - is this second degree really worth it? I'm halfway through it right now - if I drop it and just leave now, will it matter? I guess I'm just really tired of school. I realized the other day (and I may have written this already) that I will have done TWO master's degrees in TWO years - that's one a year - what the hell was I thinking?

I know now that I will NOT be doing a Ph.D. - I just can't. These have almost killed me - or at least worn me out to the point that I'm just done. Ironically, I don't remember feeling like this after two years in my undergrad program. Oh, wait - but I wasn't working full-time AND taking 16 hours of graduate course work. Yes, that was SIXTEEN hours - 5 classes and my research report. Technically (and I'm still waiting for UCF to catch this) I needed permission to take anything over 12 hours (4 classes). Hmmm.....I'm thinking it's because I'm in two different programs that UCF never caught it. Or, they just don't care because they get paid regardless and tuition $$ is more important than sanity.

So, I will work on my part of our project tomorrow - after the gym and walking the dog and working. Then, I think I'm going to put up some Christmas decorations inside and maybe do lights outside this year. Oh, I STILL need to go tile shopping to look for tile for my back patio - argh!!!!

Oh, but on the flip side of things - I LOVE my new TV :-D It arrived on Sunday. Focusing on my studying for finals was VERY difficult with my new TV tempting me to watch it. It rocks. My last one lasted for about 12 years or so - I'm expecting that I won't need to buy another one for a while. I'm not one of those that needs to have a new, bigger, better TV every two years (that would be my ex-husband, yet another reason why I'm glad we are divorced). I'm happy with what I have :)

My evil plan is working......

The background of how the idea for the evil plan came about:
My step-nephew does not like to read. For someone like me, who devours books, this is anathema!!! (I think I used that one right!). So, I came up with "The Plan" - aka my evil plan to get my step-nephew to read and hopefully begin enjoying it more.....

Chronicles of Narnia comes out soon, and I will be going to visit my dad in Georgia over the holidays. So, I bribed my step-nephew: if he read "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" BEFORE I got there AND he called or emailed me each week with what he thinks about what he's read, how he likes it, his favorite part of the chapter, etc. AND I keep up with him reading it (not really difficult, but he doesn't know that! hence the evil plan in action), then I will take him to see the movie and buy him as much junk food as he can eat in during the movie. His mom can go with us if he wants, or it can just be the two of us.

IT'S WORKING!!! He called me tonight and told me he's already done with Chapter 1 AND he is trying to visualize what he is reading while he's reading it AND he gave me an example.

Damn! but I am a good Aunt!! LOL!!!!!!!!! I love him, really.....

The kicker - he is also not doing well in science - again, NOT good to hear as a science teacher. So, next year if I am up there, as I hope to be, I WILL be volunteering at his school in his science teacher's classroom during his class time so I can see what is being taught and help him with it as much as I can. He's starting to not like science and it used to be his favorite. In all honesty - from what his mom has told me about his class this year - his teacher is really terrible. I'll elaborate later on that as I learn more when I go up to visit.

Evil me!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!